Guilt about leaving . . . AND wanting some time to myself

by Beth
(Cleveland, Ohio)

When I returned to work after having my twins, I did feel guilty about leaving my babies . . . although my husband stayed with them for two months after I went back so it wasn't too bad at first. It was harder when eventually they went off to a babysitter when he eventually went back to work.

I probably felt more guilty though about kind of being excited about getting back to work too. It was nice to have a little break at work from the baby stuff and to have some "me" time, even if it was at work.

I'm not sure if I ever have been able to completely get rid of the guilty feelings that come up related to working and leaving my kids with a babysitter every day. But I have, over time, realized that I'm a person who is happier also working and having a career and it's also a financial necessity for our family. Also, I view it as a way to demonstrate independence and the importance of setting individual goals even when you are married to my girls as they grow up.

I'm not sure if having twins necessarily made it any worse. In some ways, it was a comfort knowing they had each other at the babysitter every day. Now that I also have a singleton, I feel about the same level of guilt about having to leave her every day although it's probably a little easier the second time around (since it's the same babysitter who watched my twins and I know she'll be OK like my twins are.)

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